3...2...1...Jump!.
The moment my sole made contact with the cold metal bridge I knew I made a mistake. The terror that consumed me seemed inescapable and my fate was inevitable. Instantaneously my legs began to tremble, each extremity profusely perspired, an influx of instinctual dread, and slight quivers in my voice were only a few of the symptoms experienced as I unwelcomingly, embraced the sense of trepidation.
In stark contrast to my experience Celine was stoked and couldn’t wait for the adrenaline rush we were about to undergo! If you haven’t caught on yet, I was describing the early moments of our bungee jumping endeavor. It was this event that I planned to surprise Celine with on our honeymoon that I told myself it was simply mind over matter. It also wasn’t until I reached the jumping point that I realized what a moronic idea it was! Throughout this heart straining adventure she was very supportive and excited but I still couldn’t believe I was about to literally dive into one of my major fears. Everyone perceives heights differently and I’m usually fine with them, until I’m standing at the edge of a 160m high bridge counting down to plummet towards a raging river! I wanted to back out and even asked if I could. Most people think, “oh if you don’t do it you’ll regret it” but honestly that’s not how my mind works. I make very conscious decisions and rarely regret them.
Anyways, Celine and the guide didn’t let me back out right away but encouraged me. She counted down from 5…4…3…2…! And then I said, “Wait! Do I jump on 1 or right after?” Ridiculous, I know, but the guide said whichever I want and she restarted the countdown. 5…4…3…2…1… and I froze again. I so badly wanted to turn around and return to the solid ground that I was comfortable with but I knew I couldn’t. I asked her to count down one more time. It was this third count down where I made the dreadful leap. Stunned that I had and in shock that I was falling incredible fast to the ground! I don’t even remember the way down but only the anxiety that flooded into my veins as I rebounded up! This happened a few more times and each time I reached the pinnacle it was horrifying. My body was numb, arms tingling, heart racing, and feet and palms incredibly sweaty.
As I was pulled back up I didn’t have regret or excitement but I think I was in shock because I just felt neutral. It was as though this insanely terrifying activity I had just done was like going for a walk or eating lunch. I was impressed that I actually did it but just like most things I experience in life they all fall into the same category. I’m not sure why this is but I think it’s due to this mentality that I don’t regret, wish or desire to have made different choices. Living without regrets is one of the most freeing mindsets and one I think majority of our culture negates. So often we are entranced with fantasies of “what if” or “only if I” that we forget to continue living and creating experiences that we’re content with.
Are there regrets in your life or things you continually reminisce about that are holding you back from creating new memories? Get rid of them and live now!
